My struggle with being a loving wife

Today is a beautiful sun shining day in beautiful California.  My son's eyes are slowly falling into a trance about ready to fall asleep. My 8th grade daughter is doing her homework quietly in her room while she listens to Christian music.
All seems to be a perfect picture.  But I am so tired and would love to just get in my pj's and snuggle up and watch some movies! I have plans to go to a purse party, oddly I don't carry a purse. I know it sounds so weird that I don't carry a purse. But since I used to ride Harley's I have learned to manage everything I ever needed in a wallet, so I carry a wallet in my back pocket. (kinda like most men) So I just want to get out of the house and see my friend, so I agreed to go to this party.
I haven't even thought about dinner today, usually I would have figured it out by now. But I graciously escorted my mother and her husband to Costco this morning. Which took up a whopping two hours for my day! After chasing my son around and following her around, I am completely exhausted, mentally and physically.
So my husband wouldn't care if I stayed home in my pj's watching movies. Yet I feel its my duty to cook his dinner, (which it is) so I must decide quickly what to fix him to eat!
The point of my struggle thus far has been, my journey of being married has definitely been trying and educational both. I didn't grow up in a very structured home, especially in the marriage department. My father was killed by the time I was 3 years old. My mother remarried and all I remember after that is a slew of husbands for her, 2 others were killed as well. I can't speak for my mother but that had to be rough! But the other men in my mothers life were (I would say) losers. abusive, etc.
In my own marriage I have entered these first 5  years of taking care of everyone in my house, except myself! So in my Celebrate Recovery classes I have learned hurt people, hurt people!  And I definitely have been hurt, so I have been ultimately hurting the ones I love!
This year 2011, God spoke to me and told me this year can be different, if I change it. So here you go 2011! I am going to learn how to be healthy! Awesome wife, and an amazing mother....
So hold on honey (my husband) you are in for the ride of your life!